Right now, our three cats, Ramen Noodles, Filbert, and Ichabod Diesel Von Bitey, are the life-center of our home. Not counting a few plants or ourselves, these little beings receive most, if not all, of our nourishing energy. The cats are accustomed to a very high level of attention. We treat them like children. Obviously, this is going to change when a real child arrives.
But how to best manage this change? Last night, I narrowed it down to two options:
Option 1: Try and pay more attention to the cats, overcompensate for bringing home an attention-stealing baby.
Option 2: Pretend-like-nothing-is-different-and-hope-the-cats-don't notice-the-new-human strategy.
Terrible options, right? So I asked myself, "What would Jesus do if he lived with three cats and was having a baby?" Like a thunderbolt from the hand of Zeus, the answer hit me. Jesus would tell the truth.
One at a time, I told them.
When I told Filbert, he wasn't even phased; he looked at me, blinked, and walked away. Cool. It was like he didn't even care. One down, two to go.
Ichabod took it a little harder. After telling him, he bit my thumb and hid in the basement for three hours. Being the youngest cat, I guess I should have expected a reaction like this.
Ramen Noodles, on the other hand, surprised me. At 9+ years, he is the oldest of the three, our feline elder statesman-- the Jimmy Carter of cats. On hearing the news that a baby would soon be joining our family, Ramen became defensive. He looked around room for a way to escape from me and my news of change.
I had him cornered.
Were Ramen an ostrich, he would have stuck his head deep in the sand. But Ramen is not an ostrich. He is a cat... a cat that admires ostriches. So Ramen improvised and stuck his head in the nearest thing that resembled a hole: a drinking glass.
I assure you, this is no trick or Photoshop shenanigan. Ramen had his head in the glass for seventy eight minutes. I thought he was going to die. When he pulled his head out, he would not look at me or Jen. He went into the other room and crawled under under the hutch. I have not seen him since.
Is this what parenthood is going to be like?
If so, I'm tempted to say being a parent is for the birds.
Or cats.
2 comments:
I would like to suggest a third option that even Jesus wouldn't have thought of: dress the cats up like humans and pretend that they are Gaius' siblings.
I feel certain that this will have no long-term negative psychological effects upon anyone involved.
Brad and Jen, I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you two for cat-abuse. That picture of Ramen-Noodles-in-a-glass is just too much. Why on earth did the allegedly serene Ra do such a thing?? I want to know the truth!
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