The Magic of Eggplant Parm

We know that we promised the birth story - so without further ado, here it is:

On Tuesday, June 26th I lay in bed as Brad prepared to go into Boston at 5 am. I felt what seemed like menstrual cramps, but didn't say anything. From then on, I started having inconsistent contractions, between 5-6 minutes apart. They didn't alarm me, as they didn't hurt and I could function normally. After a few more hours in bed, I roused myself for the day, ate breakfast and watched two episodes of "A Baby Story" on TLC. Finally, I decided to take a shower and go into work.

I arrived at work at 11. Not wanting to alarm anyone in my office, I discreetly told a few co-workers that I was having contractions. Around noon, I broke down and called my doula and Brad - no rush, I said, but just in case, Brad might want to think about coming back from Boston. Of course, he came right home. I, however, stayed at work for a couple of hours and finally left around 3 pm. Decided we needed more snacks for the hospital if I went into labor, so went to Stop & Shop. Got home around 4 and rested on the couch for the next few hours.

Now, I still felt the inconsistent contractions - but they were NOT painful at all. They were getting slightly more uncomfortable though. My doula (Michelle) had said to call after 8 pm, so Brad ran out and got some food for us to eat. After eating, I called Michelle. She was on her way home, so she asked me to call with an update in an hour. We decided to try and lay down for a while - and that's when the contractions began to make themselves known. At a quarter of ten, we called Michelle again. She asked if we wanted her to come over - still unsure of what was actually happening, I waffled, but finally said yes, come over.

I took a shower and went upstairs. That's when they hit me - like a tidal wave. Suddenly, the contractions were painful, two minutes apart, and ridiculous! After watching me writhe around on the floor in pain, at around 10:20, Brad started urging me that we needed to go to the hospital. Determined to wait until Michelle got there, I told Brad to call her. Now for those of you who don't live in Western Mass, cell phone reception can be a b*tch, so he only got her VM. Finally, she arrived at 10:35. I was stuck in the bathroom, with my hair in my face, sweating up a storm and frozen bent over the counter. Michelle immediately took over, Brad got me a bandanna to get the hair out of my way, a cool washcloth for my neck and a glass of ice water. After 10 minutes like this, Michelle declared that it was time to go to the hospital. Frankly, I didn't know HOW I was going to survive the 30 minute ride in the car. Michelle gave me some acupressure balls, and I squeezed them all the way!

We made it to the hospital around 11:30. The ride upstairs to the room is a blur. We got in and I felt like I needed to sit on the toilet - I began undressing to put on my "birthing" gown. Again, I became frozen in the bathroom. The nurse came in to hook me up to the monitors. My water broke on the toilet, and of course my worst nightmare - I pooed in front of everyone! They finally got me to the bed, the nurse checked me - fully dilated.

The doctor came in and I felt the need to push. They propped me up, grabbed my legs - Brad to the left and Michelle to the right. I squeezed their hands SO HARD! The doctor advised me to grab my own legs and push. Silly me, I started saying "I should be squatting! All I learned in Yoga!" I felt his head - the doctor said "I think he's a redhead. Do you want to see?" "No," Brad and I cried in unison! Then I felt him slip back in and said so - Michelle said that was good - I would stretch more - less chance of tearing. I remember distinctly thinking "How can women have more than one child?" and 2 minutes later, out Gaius came! 12:53 AM. They put him on me and I could barely believe that there was a baby there - where did he come from?!?!?!? He peed and pooed on me - they cleaned him off some and gave him to me for feeding.

Yes, I pooed while giving birth. I tore some - the doctor stitched me up. There was a lot of blood - they did end up giving me an IV of Pitocin, since I had such a fast delivery, to tighten up my uterus and slow the bleeding. Alright, that's pretty graphic - enough for now.

The last morsel I will leave you with was how after a few hours of clean up, the nurse starting prepping the baby's traveling crib with diapers, etc. Brad and I realized WE had to change his diaper, feed him and take care of him. The nurses were NOT going to be doing it for us and our lives had changed forever.

Boy, he's lucky he's cute!